MY REFLECTION ESSAY
Where to start? I have never done a class that actually brought up emotions before. Other classes never have pushed me, frustrated me, annoyed me and yet gave me satisfaction all at the same time. During this class I learnt a lot of things. I first walked into this group confident that this would be a great assignment. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I chose this class because I didn’t want to do the others. They sounded like something we could always do in other classes down the track. I liked the way it sounded inspiring, different and outside the box. But the strange thing was at the same time I was a hundred percent sure this was the one I wanted to do, I still had no real grasp on what I was stepping into. After the first few lessons I still was none the wiser and growing more and more worried. I enjoyed the lessons and the way we learning to step out side the comfort zone. In this creative response I want to talk about those emotions I have mentioned; confusion, frustration, and reflection. I also want to bring up my reflections throughout the semester and the stamina needed.
Well ask any one in our class an emotion that was brought up from this course and confusion would be one. Understanding by the end would be another. The start was slow and weird doing spider diagrams and the question games and the lectures by Soumitri. But eventually my confusion subsided and it all became clear what we were doing. But it did take a while. One big moment was the cinematography lecture and watching the film. We shouted out answers even though I personally was scared I was wrong…and I was in a way. I was on the right track with my answers but just wasn’t quite getting it leading me to be even more confused. With the paper question game left me feeling completely out of my depth not sure what Soumitri wanted from us. Just confusion, nothing less nothing more. I wasn’t sure what soumitri meant I just couldn’t seem to grasp that last piece of missing information. I found it so strange that there was no direct outline, no outcomes and no homework as such but yet there was so much to do.
Frustration was another big thing throughout the semester. I was frustrated at my confusion the fact I didn’t understand what I was meant to be achieving. I was frustrated when I couldn’t do things like the lantern or understand some of the things such as the films I went to. I was frustrated at the blog. My internet wouldn’t work and when it did I had nothing to write. I felt like I was always putting it off. I got angry at myself.
“well this blog has really fallen, fallen hard. I am the most angry I can get with myself.....and that’s disappointed in myself. I do the same thing each year I start of all energetic and enthused and make promises to myself abut how much I can and will do. Then it all starts and I start to prioritize things and keep saying I will do that tomorrow and never do...I guess that’s what this blog turned into. I kept saying tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. I had a chat with soumitri about it last Monday and promised him and myself I would....but alas I did not I allowed myself to get caught up with other homework. But as of this Monday I am going to put in a post everyday whether it is one or many. For now I have to finish getting ready to go to school but as soon as I get home I will do a post. I have this promise to myself now in writing and posted on the net so I BETTER do it now.” Exert from my blog
In some weird way though frustration was what suddenly made me understand more. I suddenly got inspired to do more for my blog. My frustration made me stop and think hard about everything I had achieved and done and heard and learnt so far. I made decisions such as putting in more effort because I suddenly would reap more from it.
“Well this morning I was a nervous wreck freaking about school. But tonight i am a much calmer person. Learning CAD not due in till next week helped a lot and working my butt of in woodwork and getting in control once again helped oh and shopping with Kelly and Sofia most defiantly helped. I have just got back from a farewell for work. Our visual merchandiser has been swapped to another store. Really sad to see her go as we only have a little team and are all great friends. I know sum ppl hate socializing with ppl outside of work but I love it. Seeing everyone just relax and be themselves + when free alcohol involved the truth comes out. I find these outings really great for me as I have only lived in Melbourne for about 8 months so my only connection to friends are uni and work and it is so different from home where I have friends everywhere from all different things. So being able to do this with uni ppl or work ppl has been fantastic for me. That’s why it is such a pity we never got round to the bbq for studies cause it’s a great atmosphere when you take a community out of its origin. When a majority of us went to inck one day I loved that cause we just all relaxed and chatted like usual but just had a different feel. I think that’s enough rabbiting on my behalf.” Exert from my blog
I felt like I had got a better idea what was going on. I started to put more effort into group discussions which suddenly made me feel more confident which led to me understanding. I needed to realise there was so much to learn then what I already knew. I slowly learnt that what soumitri was trying to get through to us there was so much more to everything then what appeared on the surface. I realised we had come into this with such tunnel vision. We all had our eyes on one aim and didn’t bother wondering about what else we can do besides becoming “red” or “blue” designers. We needed to look at things differently and think about it more and step outside our comfort zone.
“I have just been reading over everyone’s blogs. They make me upset I haven’t tried harder, then they make me now try harder I don’t know so many emotions what to do with them.In all seriousness I have enjoyed this class so much. I love the fact we are now our own little community. I have learnt so much and like I said its not still you stop and think. I can’t wait till the final result of the magazine.” Exert from my blog
When I look back I feel I have accomplished many things putting aside the emotional learning journey, I gained confidence by speaking up in groups and getting my ideas and thought out there. I also felt I had contributed to the class a lot by helping out and participating in game outcomes and producing the games. From ideas of the rules to the making of the cards. I also helped with producing outcome posters and I feel I had a big hand in the production of the magazine.
I think the most challenging thing would have to be the peer presentation at first because of the public speaking and having to put words to this whole roller coaster ride of a semester. But I think the most challenging thing was the journey itself. Trying to understand, trying to find outcomes even though I knew they were not needed. This semester has taught me many things such as the stuff listed above. What I enjoyed the very most was the dressing up in corporation gear and becoming a community. Doing something different and all the movies I saw that I may not have seen otherwise….hence stepping outside of my comfort zone.
posted by Sare @ 11:21 PM
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